So, background.
Last December or November or something was one of those special "Facebook profile picture" months, with the themes and all that. That theme was Pokemon. I love me some Pokemon. I chose Cyndaquil because he is my favorite and I love him.
Favorite
Anyway, I was sitting in my RA's room, checking Facebook yet again, and a friend of mine from High School started chatting me. Eventually, as these things tend to go, it got out of hand quickly.
Below is the most interesting excerpt, entirely unchanged, but without all those Facebook emoticons.
Today
9:36pm
Such is life.
9:38pm
ah, life...
I believe jessie used to be Canadian
9:38pm
'The sisters are searching for salvation from their burden bladders. I ask that they might use them now in this, their time of need.'
SHE'S NOT?!??1?!??/!?!?
o_O
:O
(^^^)
9:39pm
now she's African
9:39pm
nom nom nom
9:39pm
:putnam:
9:39pm
SHE'S A MONGOL, DAMMIT
9:39pm
putnam is Russian
9:39pm
PUTNAM IS DIED!
CYNDAQUIL IS RULER NOW!
BWAHAHAHAHA
9:41pm
D: he is czar now
9:42pm
NO!
HE IS DIED
9:43pm
so cyndaquil is czar nao?
9:44pm
CYNDAQUIL IS SUPREME OVERLORD!
My RA just told me Cyndaquil doesn't count.
9:45pm
D:
9:45pm
As a profile pokemon.
9:45pm
why not?
9:45pm
HE IS STILL WARCHIEF
9:45pm
I bow to him
9:45pm
Because he's not original 150
YOU KISS THE DIRT BEFORE HIM
9:46pm
jessie says "the truth is that i am actually from azerbaijan. and then I moved to mongolia, but never became a citizen. I then moved to canada, became a citizen, but then joined the peace corp and went to africa, where I loved the people so much that i immersed myself in the culture and had a procedure to turn my skin darker. Later I had this removed because of the controversy.
so i am truly azerbaijanian... azerbaijanite... from azerbaijan
please relay this message to katie"
9:47pm
I sense a hidden agenda in this message.
9:47pm
how so?
9:49pm
THERE IS NO JESSIE! ONLY ZUUL
ALL HAIL CYNDAQUIL
9:49pm
I ONLY WORSHIP PRIME MINISTER MAGIKARP
9:50pm
PRIME MINISTER MAGIKARP KNEELS BEFORE CYNDAQUIL
9:51pm
DON'T DO IT MAGIKARP! YOU ARE SUPREME
9:52pm
MAGIKARP IS BUT A PUPPET IN GRAND MASTER CYDAQUIL'S REGIME
9:54pm
LIES! ANARCHIST BIDOOF WILL BRING AN END TO CYNDAQUIL'S REGIME
10:03pm
ANARCHIST BIDOOF HAS BEEN FOUND OUT BY CYNDAQUIL'S SECRET POLICE, HEADED BY HOUNDOOM
10:05pm
SECRET SUPER SNEAKY SPY SNORLAX WILL DEFEAT YOUR GUSTAPO
10:23pm
why did Jessie leave?
Oh, and
10:23pm
leave?
10:24pm
POLIWAG THWARTS YOUR SECRET SUPER SNEAKY SPY SNORLAX BY LURING HIM OUT WITH A POKEFLUTE
10:27pm
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOWDON EATS POLIWAG FOR BREAKFAST AND WASHES HIS MEAL DOWN WITH A TASTY GLASS OF HYDROCHLORIC ACID
10:29pm
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOWDON IS NOW DEAD FROM HYDROCHLORIC ACID INTAKE
10:32pm
DIGLET DONATES A DISEASE RIDDEN KIDNEY TO CYNDIQUIL'S RIGHT-HAND-MAN SANDSHREW AND PERMANTLY HOSPITALIZES HIM
10:34pm
JYNX CORRECTS DIGLETT'S SPELLING, PERMANENTLY EMBARRASSING HIM FOREVER
10:36pm
SCYTHER REDEEMS DIGLETT'S HONOR BY SHAVING JYNX'S HAIR AND GIVING HER A SHINY BALD HEAD
10:39pm
PERSIAN SQUISHES SCYTHER IN HER PRETTY PAWS OF POWER!
10:41pm
LICKITUNG ALERTS THE PUBLIC OF CYNDIQUIL'S DICTATORSHIP WITH A MEGAPHONE
10:41pm
LICKITUNG EATS THE MEGAPHONE. MR MIME MOCKS HIM. MR MIME
ACCEPT IT
10:43pm
SLOWPOKE SEDUCES MR. MIME AND DEMANDS PAYMENT FOR THE SERVICES
10:45pm
HOUNDOOM POPS A CAP IN HIS ASS FOR PROSTITUTION
10:47pm
PRIME MINISTER MAGIKARP DEFENDS HIS LOST BROTHER AND SPLASHES HOUNDOOM
10:47pm
NOTHING HAPPENS
10:47pm
MAGIKARP SIGHS
10:49pm
CYNDAQUIL SEIZES HIS OPPORTUNITY AND ERADICATES THE MAGIKARP THREAT WITH A RADICATE
10:52pm
SCIENTIST HAUNTER EUTHINIZES AND DISSECTS RATICATE FOR SCIENTIFIC PURPOSES
11:05pm
CYNDAQUIL MAINTAINS VICTORY AND RETIRES TO BED
WHERE NONE CAN TOUCH HIM
SO....YEAH
Goodnight
11:05pm
CYNDIQUIL'S SUBJECT RETIRE TO BED AS WELL, DEFEATED AND BROKEN
Goodnight! <3
*subjects
Oh, and that quote at the beginning was from the ever-delightful Pushing Daisies. I have no idea why it's there, but it is. It happens.
All hail Cyndaquil!
No comments:
Post a Comment