Theatre RULES!

I'm eating a popsicle and thinking about what I want to write about the theatre. I can't really type with a popsicle in one hand.

*KDHD- You can't really type at all.
*Mom- True.

So anyway, I love the theatre...and not in a snotty way, like I don't say theatah, or anything. Nor do I say theeayter. So I'm just a middle of the road kind of girl who likes plays and musicals. I've been living in the St. Louis area for quite a while now and I have to say, there are some fantastic things here. Seriously, the theatre scene here is huge and awesome. The reason I know this is because I have a job and every Monday during lunch my companions are telling each other about the play/musical they saw over the weekend. I on the other hand, tend not to leave my house once I get home for the weekend because, a) on Friday I'm an exhausted mess and would fall asleep before the curtain opened, b) on Saturdays it's too much effort to catch up on household crap AND shower and look presentable, and c) Sunday is church/nap day. But not at the same time. Pretty much.

SO, we have the Fabulous Fox Theatre. It. Is. Gorgeous. Check it out...here.... It has this massive pipe organ and a really magnificent chandelier that defies the common conception of a chandelier. When Phantom of the Opera played there, they probably worried that the real chandelier was going to upstage the fake one in the play. I would have, anyway. The very first show I saw at the Fox was The Rugrats Live! (or something like that...and yes, we took the kids). Singing, dancing babies with giant heads set against the Fox's ornate decor was a veritable visual oxymoron. Luckily, subsequent shows have been more in keeping with the nature of the place.....that is, fabulous.


We have another theatre called The Muny. I'm quite sure it has a longer name than that, but it pretty much goes by The Muny. It's in Forest Park, which is the Big Park in St. Louis. The Muny is an outdoor venue, so it only runs in the summer. It was built in this big depression in the park, so it's like this natural amphitheater, which is pretty cool. The Muny has always had a section of free seats...you just come early, get in line, picnic, play frisbee...whatever. I've never done this but KDHD has. I love The Muny, but it has a few issues, none of which are its fault.

Problem number one.....it is in St. Louis. This city has a lot of things going for it, but summer here is just plain effing hot. Hot and humid. And I like the heat. So when I say it's hot, well, you know. So. Problem number two....I don't know what the deal is with outdoor theatre, but people seem to think it's a big honkin' sing along. Plus, they tend to put on a lot of classic shows, which means half the people in the audience were in that very show in high school. I'm sitting there, enjoying West Side Story and suddenly the girl next to me is belting out I Feel Pretty!

HEY...did you buy a ticket to this show?

You did?

ME TOO!

Do you have a program?

IS YOUR NAME IN IT?

NO?

Shut up!!

So as you can see, I do manage to catch an occasional show and I have to say there is something that happens here that is pretty flippin' annoying. Part of me hopes this doesn't occur where you live, and part of me does, because then I would feel better about my town. I refer here to what is known as the St. Louis Standing Ovation. At the end of the show, before the bows even begin, much of the crowd is already on their feet. The first time I witnessed this phenomenon, I began to stand up with them, thinking, "Well, the show was good, but Rugrats? Really? Am I missing something here?" It turns out I was missing something as I realized that these people were not applauding, nor were they showing any kind of appreciation for the performers whatsoever. THEY WERE LEAVING! They were getting the hell out of Dodge so they could beat the traffic! I was horrified! And I see it at every show...no matter whether it's a Broadway touring company or local theatre. How rude.

So....the rules (see what I did there? Look at the title....now look here again...heh, heh, heh.)

1) Come to St. Louis and go to a show at the Fox. Enjoy it and keep your ass in or (in the event of a real standing ovation) slightly above your seat until after the bows.*

2) Come to St. Louis and go to a show at The Muny. Follow the above rule, but also KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Bring something with which to fan yourself. It won't help, but at least you can feel like you tried.*

3) Come to St. Louis and attend a performance at one of our million other venues (none of which I meant to slight by not mentioning them but there are sooooo many, plus I'm pretty sure nobody affiliated with them reads this blog so who cares anyway?)

*BTW...went to the Muny last night for the first time in a few years. In the program there is the usual list of *ahem* suggestions for the audience, i.e. turn off your cell phone, no recording allowed, etc. The final two "suggestions" (and I'm paraphrasing) were, don't sing along and keep your ass in the theatre until the bows are over. YESSSSS!

So there you go. I don't really have a good way to end this.